Patterns of Grief
Research and personal testimonies have shown that grieving for a pet can follow a similar pattern to that of a grieving person, although intensity and length may vary. Initial reactions to the death of a pet include numbness and shock, perhaps at the time of receiving a terminal diagnosis, or for a short period following the death. It almost feels as if the world has stopped and it is difficult to take in information and concentrate on tasks. This may be followed by a period of denial - of the death or of the pain.

When the full impact of the loss starts to sink in, a person may experience intense feelings of sadness, despair, pining, anxiety and sometimes even physical pain. Feelings of guilt and self-questioning may also be overwhelming, particularly if a decision has been taken to euthanase a much loved pet. Empty beds and food bowls, meeting people in the street, are painful reminders of the loss. It is also at this point that a period of depression may ensue, when a person feels devastated and unable to cope - sleep and eating patterns may be affected and it appears that nobody really understands.

Full acceptance of a pet's death is a gradual process but a time will come when a person feels less painful talking about the loss with others, and is able to re-adjust to the home environment without the pet, by removing food bowls, washing bedding etc. When the pain has finally subsided and a person is able to reflect and talk freely about the happy memories shared with the pet, the path to recovery is well underway.

Grief is a very personal, individual process for which there is no set formula. It may be that people experience all or only a few of these patterns of grief and not necessarily in the order outlined above. It is fairly common for people to experience all or only a few of these patterns of grief and not necessarily in the order outlined above. It is fairly common for people to experience waves of these emotions, which become less intense over time.
It may also be that a person's reaction to the loss of their pet may take them by surprise.

The depth of their feelings may be unexpected and therefore overwhelming and they feel they are going mad. It is important to remember that these emotions are all appropriate to the loss of an attachment and ultimately a testimony to the love that was shared between a person and their pet. An understanding of this process and the normality of grieving for a pet, as well as allowing them to grieve, may all ease the pain.

GETTING ANOTHER ANIMAL
At various points during the grieving process, the question whether or not to take on another animal may want addressing. Again, there are no clear rules about when the most appropriate time will be, if that is indeed what is decided. Some people miss the presence of an animal, particularly if there are no other pets in the household, and will take on another pet fairly soon. For others, there may be other emotional or practical issues that they will want to resolve before considering another pet.

They may be in so much emotional pain that they will want to avoid having to go through the process again, and therefore decide against it; or they may feel they are being disloyal to the dead pet if they take on another pet. A person's practical circumstances may have changed and they may not be able to afford to take on another pet or their lifestyle may be changing through increased travel and so on.

All these factors need to be carefully considered and a person will know in their heart when the time feels right to reinvest their love in another animal. A useful guideline is when a person feels able to reflect on previous happy times without being overwhelmed by the pain of the loss and ultimately feels comfortable with the possibility of taking on another pet. If a new pet is chosen, a person needs to be aware that the new pet can never be exactly like the previous pet, even if it is of the same breed, and comparisons can often lead to disappointment and further pain. Getting a new pet is not a question of "replacing" a previous pet, but rather one of investing one's love as a tribute to the love and companionship that was shared with the previous pet.